Eight weeks ago was my father’s last day of life, and my last day having a parent I could see, touch and who could hear my words. I have continued onward with my life, which included attending the funeral of another wonderful man I knew. Without asking I have been given a repeat lesson and reminder of the ephemeral lives we live.
Yesterday, while taking care of some end-of-life admin tasks such as canceling auto-renewing memberships, I found my way into my dad’s email and Facebook page. Now, after his death I am seeing more of him than I knew while he was alive. I was impressed and moved seeing the content he posted, most of which I missed when he shared it, as I rarely took the time to look in on what my dad was sharing online. I missed a lot. Friends and family had told me on multiple occasions that they appreciated my dad’s Facebook contributions. Now that he is gone this at least is one aspect of him I can still see. (Is it really necessary, for security reasons, to delete his Facebook or can we keep it visible as a memorial? “…. you don’t know what you’ve got Till it’s gone.”*
I sent a few messages from my dad’s email to myself, resulting in me receiving new messages from my father in my inbox with his google profile picture, there for me to see. Odd. I’m glad to see his name and image in my email again, postponing the time that I will never see it again. Yet, seeing his name in the “from:” column reminds me that although the 67 years of receiving directly from him have come to an end, what I have received from him lives within me, continuing his gifts to me.
10/10/2024